My life in a few words
by Miss.Carlie
Summary: Edwards feeling on his Bella. The beautiful Rebel. Beauty and the Geek : Love overpowers all... one-shot


**My bordom produced this short but sweet tale :) soo r&r

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**My life in few words**

I can remember the first time I saw her. I was five years old but I can remember it like yesterday those wild curls and hazel eyes, even then she was beautiful and I was the lovesick boy who though she was an angel and my god she was an angel.

I had never noticed anyone before other than my siblings since I was a rather shy child but this girl, this little fragile girl pulled me in. It really helped that she saw me too and felt the same pull to me.

Since that first day we've been up in each others pockets but we were extremly different. To the outside world I was the geek who got A's and played the piano, she was the babe who didn't give a fuck but behind closed doors we were Bella and Edward, best friends. And only I ever saw the real Bella, the caring, intelligent, selfless being that for some reason kept coming back to me.

I thanked my lucky stars everyday for giving me Isabella swan.

Bella often got into trouble, but when your the chief of police's daughter there's a lot that you can get away with. Bella saw life as a game, abandoned by her mother and so when attention found her she lived for it, although it was negative attention she didn't care. Bella never took shit from anyone but she never hurt any soul deliberately.

I asked Bella once why she acted the way she did, so different from the real girl I knew. She said that everyone expected her to be good and she hated that, she wanted to prove people wrong and to be bad. Good guys finish last and she lived by that moto. She wasnt going to be the perfect girl, she wasn't going to make her daddy proud so he could brag about her for his own ego. She wasn't going to become a little sweetheart for people to admire, she wanted to be herself.

I was the sweetheart, I was the one who made my parents proud and I know she hate those qualities about me, I saw it in her eyes, everytime my mother would congratulate me about another A grade. I wasn't the good boy all the time, maybe I was worse than Bella. I was diffently smarter. My good grades resulted in trust and money. I partied, but I didn't advertise it. Bella thrived on bing Fork's rebel without a cause.

I sat by and picked up the pieces each time something would happen to my best friend. Every fuck wit who broke her heart, every bitch who made a comment about her dysfunctional family I was did care, she cared too much.

I can remember a time when we were both almost 16 she turned to me and unleashed the full force of those fucking Delicious doe eyes on me.

"Edward" She said biting her bottom lip "I want you to be my first kiss." She was now playing with a lose strand of hair. I didn't quite understand what she meant, she wanted to kiss me? The geek? Bella "I don't give a shit" Swan wanted to kiss me, okay I wasnt no ugly duckling but Reps important here, and I was no one compaired to Bella's leauge.

"Erm, Bella. I don't understand ." I prayed, I fucking paryed I heard her right. But acting dumb I suppose is cute...

"I want you to kiss me Edward." She said turning a shade of pink that only my eyes ever witness. Bella never showed people her cute side. I turned to look at her straight on and pushed my trembling lips to her eager ones. I could feel Bella in a new way, a way I liked. It was slow yet passionate.

"Edward, be my first everything." She said against my lips.

"Always" I said back, taking to lips once more.

That was the day I knew I loved Bella Swan.

Not loved like the best friend I though she was but the girl who I knew held my soul completely. Beauty and the geek and I fucking loved it.

Bella continued to get into trouble and even started dating Jacob Black. Rough is an understatement often he would hit Bella and that's how I got in my first fight, I didn't win. We were both true to our words about being the first with each other. It was a first getting drunk with her, it was also a first getting a tattoo all with my Bella at my side. There was a first that both of us were ready for but neither of us brought up.

I'm sure she experienced that first with another.

Time flew by so quickly in those years and graduation was soon upon us. Bella always hung out with her so called friends when in school, she said that she didn't want to tint my reputation. I understood.I was still the no body, it hurt like a bitch to feel rejected by the angel by what could I do with it. Bella Swan was no longer mine. I normally spent my school time studying. I was going to Dartmouth, I would become a doctor a life long dream of mine.

Bella barley finished high school and was still undecided on the rest of her life. I hated her for not living up to what she could be. I wish she could see herself more clearly. She didnt have to act up to feel wanted, I wanted but I was the stupid idiot who didn't tell her. I would often look at the lion tattoo on my chest and fell a dull pain underneath the skin. I tried to be a man and not moan about the pain but Bella knew me to well and held my hand. She didn't need any assistant when she had a lamb tattooed on her. That was my brave girl.

Well that was my brave girl.

Saying goodbye to my Bella was the most painful thing ever. Tears fled from both of us but I knew this was the right thing to do. "Don't cry Cullen. Man up." Was the last words I heard her say.

Then I whispered "I love you" into the cold Washington night air, she never heard my confession. A part of me wished she had.

She would probaly end up going to far on one of her attention trips, get arrested or get pregnant or become an other static, I knew this. It killed me but i knew there was no hope.

This was the day I left Bella Swan.

My college years bleed into each other. I met girls but none of them took my heart, I'd left that with the blushing beauty back home. I hardly went home, school took over my life. I would hear from my family stories of past friends, but I never asked about that one girl and they never said anything about her. It would break my heart to know.

When I was almost 25, I returned home. Bella's dad, Charlie had died. I knew the man very well and I loved him like a second father, he once gave me permission to marry Bella. I was seventeen at the time and scared.

I missed Forks at the best of times but now my heart ached and I knew who for.

Seeing my loving family made me regret my choice of leaving. Alice my baby sister was in a happy loving relationship with Jasper, an ex-solider and Emmett my brother was married and a father. I realised how much of my life I'd wasted.

The funeral was horrible, the whole town turned up and was in mourning. I was looking for two pair of eyes but I looked in vain, Bella wasn't there.

"Alice what happened to Bella?" I asked my sister.

"After you left, Bella did. No one have seen her since. Sorry Edward." My sister sent a pain straight through my heart and I was numb.

She had gone. Was she even alive. I wish I had told her how I felt, every second of every day that I was with her. I promised myself there and then watching Charlie be lowered 6 foot under, that if I ever saw my angel again I would tell her how much I love her.

The funeral flew by and I found myself sitting at Charlies grave alone in the rain at night. Yes I was mourning the man but I was also mourning the daughter that had also gone. In all these years I never stopped loving her.

This was the day I cried and I mean really cried out loud since the day I left her not one tear escaped my eye but now my cheeks where flooded with my pain.

"Don't cry Cullen. Man up." That all to familiar voice sang into my ears. I turned around to see a beautiful 5"4 woman standing there looking at my with the same intensity of the first day when we were a couple of five year old.

"Bella." I whispered and before I could consent to anything my body gripped this girl tight to me.

"Edward." She said back. I could feel the smile on my neck.

"I love you." I said louder than any other world I had spoken in my life.

"I love you too Cullen." She said back with the same passion.

That was the day that I promised never to let go of Bella Swan.

Life after Charlies death was surprisingly normal. Bella was a writer. After I left she took control of her life and re-took all her exams and got into college in New York where she could put her don't give a fuck attitude to use. She stopped drinking and smoking and lived, like the lady I knew she always was.

There was hope, me leaving gave her that hope.

My career was going from strength to strength. I had a great family and an amazing women. I felt almost complete but there was something missing.

We both moved into a house near my school. Bella was the same Bella I always knew but now I got to share her with the world.

I got to learn about this amazing being all over again and if it was possible I fell in love with her all over again. We both had been so busy rebuilding our emotional relationship that our physical relationship went unnoticed. I had never been with a girl in that way and I was afraid I would disappoint my love. So the night went our hormones took over I apologized to her.

"Bella, I've never done this before. I'm sorry." I said, my very obvious needs where touching her.

"Edward, neither have I .I promised that you would always be my first." This shocked me but made my heart melt.

That night was an experience. Bella was at first in pain and this grieved me but I could feel how happy we made each other. Our physical love overpowered everything in our worlds. Being able to feel every inch of my beauty both inside and out was such an amazing feeling that if I had died there and then no heaven could ever match how Bella made me feel.

That was the night I conceived a child with Bella Swan.

Those 9 months were extraordinary. I proposed the night we found out she was expecting and we were married very soon after. Her rounded belly looked amazing wrapped in white and as she walked towards me, I couldn't regret anything that had happened up to this point in my life.

When I could feel our love moving inside of her I burst with happiness each time. A heartbeat that we created and I could feel it. Every kick, every movement she felt and I was envious that I could experience this.

Half way through we found out it was a girl. A daughter, I was the proudest man alive. That's when I felt complete. Bella had given me everything.

I was there for Bella throughout the birth. The pain she must be experiencing never showed on her perfect features, she showed the world once again how brave she was.

I looked in my arms and saw years of love. Bella and I had always been different but together we created this perfect creature, so innocent to the world. She had my colour hair with in her mothers curls and her eyes the exact same as Bella's.

I held her in my arms Renesmee, both our mothers names combined. Bella's mother left her so when I asked why Renee had an input in our beautiful daughters name, she said it was to remind her that she will never be like her and plus its sounds good. That's my girl

Holding this bundle of joy would never get old. Bella looked at me and I could never repay her for what she had given me

"I want more of these." She said holding her daughter and smiling at me.

"How many more?"

"How ever many we can create, look at her, look at me and look at you. Who would of though?"

"All you ever need is love. The other things will sort themselves out. I never stopped loving you and I know I never will. My god I love you."

"I love you. Thank you for never giving up on me." My angel said.

That was the day I lived happily ever after with Renesmee and Bella Cullen....

READ N REVIEW PLEEEEASE :) XX


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